Before I post my review of the new Elomi Carmen plunge bra, I feel like I should give a little update about the direction my life is taking at this point in time. I haven’t been blogging as much as usual due to a slew of issues in my life, and I need to vent before I go insane from keeping it all bottled up.
Put simply, I’m not well. On October 27th after missing 2 days of work due to extreme back pain, I visited my primary care physician to figure out what was happening to me. She prescribed me a low dose anti-inflammatory which did absolutely nothing. I was also prescribed anti-depressants for breaking down in tears in her office because of a few other stressful things that have been going on in my life. If I hadn’t been put on anti-depressants I don’t think I’d be here to write this post to tell you about it. I was scheduled an appointment for a month in the future and was essentially told to get over the fact that I was in pain. I probably only spent 10 minutes in her office and my pain wasn’t resolved. She acted like I was just a drug addict who wanted pain pills, even though I didn’t even want to take the pills she gave me. I just wanted to know what was wrong so that I could live my life normally.
On November 7th I had my Paraguard IUD inserted at Planned Parenthood. I got it because my insurance through my father ends on December 31st, and I wanted to get a long term IUD for free through the Affordable Care Act before my insurance ended. It’s just my safety net in case I can’t afford my pills or appointments in the new year. The experience of getting it inserted was very painful, but after a few days of pain I went back to normal and all was well in the world (besides my back pain). If you’re considering Planned Parenthood for an IUD, I’d really recommend them because they treated me with respect and did not once judge me. They even diagnosed me with a long running condition that no other doctor would even discuss seriously. Since the Paraguard is such an effective form of birth control, I went off my birth control pills that I’d been taking for 5 years. This is where things went wrong.
If you know anything about PCOS you’ll know it can cause side effects like weight gain, inability to lose weight, irregular periods, thinning hair on the head, increased body hair growth, anxiety and depression, and ovarian cysts. I had a lot of these symptoms starting around age 13. I had the most painful and irregular periods ever, and thought it was normal; to be doubled over in pain and vomiting when my period came. I went on the pill at 15 as birth control, and these symptoms stopped. I never made the connection until recently. When I was about 17 years old, I asked my doctor if it was possible that I could have PCOS since my grandmother had many of the same symptoms and died of uterine cancer, which can be caused by PCOS. The doctor didn’t take me seriously and said that I probably didn’t have it, and blamed my weight on all the problems I’d been experiencing, even though I wasn’t nearly as overweight before my symptoms started. Planned Parenthood told me it was very likely I had PCOS, but that there wasn’t any specific test they could do to see if I had it. You can read more about PCOS here. http://www.pcosfoundation.org/
I muddled along from November 7th to November 26th at 2AM. I was taking at least 1000mg of ibuprofen every 12 hours with no relief. I was at work and felt a huge amount of pain in my pelvic region after lifting a very heavy box. My body went cold and I couldn’t walk correctly. I hobbled to the bathroom, and when I sat down on the toilet I discovered that I couldn’t urinate despite desperately needing to. When I wiped, I saw a shocking quantity of blood that wasn’t menstrual blood. I vomited and felt like I was going to pass out. I left work and immediately had my boyfriend take me to the hospital.
I know you don’t know me personally, but I hope you can take my word for it when I say that I am not a weakling when it comes to pain. For me to be reacting so strongly to pain meant something was seriously wrong.
I begged and pleaded for someone at the hospital to tell me what was wrong and make the pain stop, but they all rolled their eyes and treated me like I was Carrie White in the Carrie shower scene who didn’t know what her period was. They even belittled my pain by telling me that I had no right to complain about cysts because childbirth is worse. It took a few hours for them to diagnose me with ovarian cysts and a urinary tract infection. I was prescribed antibiotics and a bladder anesthetic and sent on my way. They said my cyst was a ruptured hemorrhagic cyst, and that if the pain increased or didn’t improve throughout the day, I should come back immediately because my ovary could twist, called ovarian torsion, and I could die. It was about 7am at this point, and I’d spent about 5 hours in the hospital.
I reluctantly went home and tried to get some sleep. By about 11am the pain and bleeding increased and I was lying in bed screaming in pain and sobbing uncontrollably. My boyfriend had to dress me to take me back to the hospital because I was so dizzy I couldn’t lift my arms to put on a shirt or lift my legs to put on pants. He rushed me to the hospital and communicated for me, telling the staff what the situation was. They plopped me down in a hospital bed and left me there for an hour without even checking on me. When someone finally came back to the room to take my blood and get my vitals, she asked me if anyone had spoken to me yet. When I told her that nobody had even checked on me, she told me I was fine and that they were too busy to check on me. They were “too busy” to check on me, but a few hours previously they told me I could die if I didn’t come back.
They gave me an Oxydone and monitored me for about half an hour and sent me on my way with a prescription for Oxycodone. Somehow, even Oxycodone couldn’t stop the pain I was feeling. I came back at 11am and didn’t leave with any kind of pain relief until about 4pm. In all, I’d spent about 13 hours in the emergency room for no reason.
Over the next few days the pain started to subside and I was able to work a few days the next week, taking Oxycodone (that I wasn’t supposed to be taking at work) just to be able to function at work. One night, the pain predictably came back and I had to call off work 3 days (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) in a row since my doctor’s office wasn’t open until Tuesday. I could feel a hard lump under my skin where my ovary was, this time on the other side. I checked FaceBook the day of my appointment and saw a coworker accusing me of “crying wolf” and said I wasn’t at work because I was lazy. It seriously hurt to know that I had been suffering for almost 2 months and was being accused of ditching work because I was too lazy.
I went to my doctor’s appointment, and my primary care physician completely ignored my feelings and concerns. She repeated information back to me incorrectly and set me up with a gynecologist that isn’t even covered by my insurance and would take weeks to get into. She walked away without listening to me and didn’t do anything to help me with the back pain that I’ve been dealing with for about 2 months straight.
In short, I’ve had two ovarian cysts that caused me a strong amount of pain in the past month, I can’t function because my back is in agony, I can’t get a doctor to believe me or listen to me, I lost my job due to excessive absence, and I don’t know if I’ll have health insurance in 2016 because I lost my job. I’ve been extremely depressed because of all this, and I don’t know what I’m going to do in the coming months. Luckily my living situation is stable so I won’t end up homeless or anything, but I don’t know how I’m going to afford my bills and Christmas presents for my family. It’s hard to not be depressed when you don’t know if you’ll be able to walk at any given moment.
I’m not posting this to gain any pity, and I’m certainly not looking for monetary donations if that’s what you’re thinking (I wouldn’t accept them anyway). I just needed to vent about my life and let my readers know why I’ve been an unreliable blogger lately.