If you read the title, you know what this post is about. Some of you might have already seen this coming due to how inactive I’ve been. I’ve officially decided to abandon my Rolls and Curves blog and move on to other ventures. I just don’t have the same passion I used to when I started and I think the community has changed for the worse in the past few years. I’ve had a lot of fun doing this and I’ve enjoyed the opportunities I’ve been given. I’ve worked with a few great brands, inspired many people, helped people find bras that fit them, and became an official ambassador for The Body Confidence Revolution.
The biggest reason I’m quitting is that there’s only one lingerie brand on the face of the planet that makes my bra size so it’s pretty pointless to blog about lingerie when I can’t review more than one brand. I also can’t afford to buy bras and review them so it’s cost prohibitive to even try. I considered keeping my blog around and using the username to blog about other things, but decided against it. The body positive community has changed significantly since I started blogging 3 years ago and to be perfectly honest I want no part in the current community. It’s all about endorsements and money now. Fat people, PoC, LGBT people, and disabled people used to be the pillars holding up the body positive community, but are now being hidden behind thin, conventionally attractive women who are distorting the movement into one that promotes erasure of fat, POC, LGBT, and disabled bodies. I blame this on the media for appropriating a term that meant something and using it as an easily marketable way to pretend you’re inclusive.
It started out as a movement for the most disadvantaged people to become comfortable with themselves and turned into models squishing their stomachs to create one roll and writing about how they thought they were “soooo fat” but are actually normal and love themselves because of it. Or it turns into women who diet and go to the gym talking about how you should love yourself “as long as you’re healthy”, which is super ableist and fatphobic. This isn’t to say that thin, conventionally attractive models don’t have issues with body image. Body image issues are not exclusive to any one group of people. All I’m saying is that a lot of the current trends in the body positive community are actually harmful to the groups that made body positivity a thing to begin with.
For example one of the top body positive icons, Iskra Lawrence, is a blonde, conventionally attractive average size woman who has promoted disordered eating in magazine articles and told the people that criticized her for it that they were just “bullying” her and trying to push her out of the community. Ashley Graham has repeatedly talked down on the term “plus size” despite becoming rich and famous on the label of “plus size” modelling. Tess Holliday stole money from her fans and has yet to face actual consequences for it. Body positive pages are starting to promote weight loss which can be triggering to many of us in recovery from eating disorders, yet bury their head in the sand and pull the bullying card when someone says it makes them uncomfortable. You can lose weight and still be a body positive page, but when you promote ways to lose weight on a page that claims to be body positive you’re just as bad as women’s magazines that prey on our insecurities. It feels horrible to be a member of a community that’s supposed to welcome all and gradually feel the walls push you away until you’re standing outside of the box and are back to square one. I think I’ll identify myself as fat positive until body positivity isn’t as big of a trend.
And as for the state of reviews. Ooooh boy. When I started reviewing in 2015, it was expected that bloggers would be honest and review pieces on the basis of quality and fit. Now it’s a popularity contest where people gush over ill fitting bras to stay on PR lists and get shares on social media. Brands like Curvy Kate promote this by showing models and customers in ill fitting bras, and making bras that simply don’t fit at the upper end of the size range. When bloggers in that size range review their pieces and have a negative experience, the brand will tweet them and accuse the blogger of wearing the wrong size and tell them to try a different model. They never take into account that their bras just aren’t sturdy enough.
This idea has permeated the movement so much that lingerie blogging isn’t really about fit anymore. It turns bloggers into living breathing ads. Of course there are many smaller blogs that still talk about fit, but some of the big name bloggers have moved away from informative reviews and instead choose photo heavy reviews with limited information and a promo code or affiliate link. While there’s nothing wrong with making money from blogging, and I fully support someone’s right to use affiliate links and promo codes, it has to be partnered with an informative review to be useful content. As a consumer, it doesn’t help me at all when I click on a review and see nothing but pictures and sugar coated compliments. People forget that reviewers should be serving the paying customers that might buy that product instead of the brands that send them free product. Average consumers don’t have the money or space to buy dozens of bras. They want to spend their money on bras that will work and support their busts.
The other huge reason why I’m quitting my blog is because I am so sick and fucking tired of getting dick pics and sexually suggestive messages from men. It pisses me off to spend hours on reviews when 78% of my audience is men who sit there and jerk off to my pictures. It’s insulting and degrading to try to provide a service for full busted women and end up being reduced to a sex object by men who refuse to see the bigger picture. I’m sick of people commenting on my body. I’m sick of getting multi paragraph messages in my inbox telling me that I’m a pile of scum that deserves to die for being fat and happy. I’m sick of people blaming me for the obesity epidemic or sending me sales pitches about weight loss products. I know people tell me to block and ignore them, but my self confidence has increased dramatically since I stepped back from my blog and didn’t have to obsess over how my fat rolls look in pictures or how my butt looks in underwear.
I considered creating my own skincare line because I have a love of making my own natural beauty products, but it’s just not feasible at this point in time. I don’t have the time, money, space or resources to start an actual business. Maybe in the future when I have more resources at my disposal I’ll start a brand. It costs a lot more money than you’d think. The other thing that makes me hesitant is the booming MLM brands who sell essential oils and products that include them. MLMs like Doterra and Young Living make people who enjoy essential oils look bad and I want to stay out of that until the MLM boom dies down so I won’t get lumped in with those brands. However, if you ever want handmade beauty products from me just let me know and we can certainly work something out. I’m still interested in creating made to order gifts for people who like natural skincare. It just won’t be a large batch business. Remember that essential oils are not intended to cure or treat any disease no matter what MLM reps tell you.
As for my current ventures, I’m going to create a YouTube channel based around beauty, fashion, recipes, DIY, and other lifestyle topics. The focus will be on how to do things on a budget. I’m not giving the name away yet because I’m not making promises I won’t keep, but I’ve had a lot of people tell me to start a YouTube channel in the past few months and I feel like it’ll be easier for me to make videos about the things I’m really into right now. Plus, I could use a hobby now that I work fewer hours and have a lot of downtime. I will be going by an alias in an attempt to keep my channel seperate from my real life, so when I launch my channel I want everyone who knows me in real life to be respectful of that. I know it won’t be easy and I’m still going to deal with a lot of the same problems I did when I was a blogger, but I’ve always wanted to start a YouTube channel. Even if I do it for a couple years and it doesn’t go anywhere, I’ll know that I tried instead of never doing it and wondering what could have happened. I’m not going into this expecting to get rich quick. I’m doing it because it’s a hobby I’ve always wanted to try and I don’t want to give up on myself before I even begin. I conquered my biggest fear, which was showing my body in public, and now I’m ready to conquer my fear of speaking to the public and being on video. I am planning on monetizing my channel because my boyfriend and I could use the extra income to move out, but I will always be honest like I’ve been on this blog. I’m not afraid to be honest even if a brand sends me a product to review. I’ve always prioritized the consumer because they’re the ones I’m targeting with my reviews.
If you’re wondering what’s going to happen with this blog, I will leave everything up so that people can still make use of my reviews if they happen to stumble upon my page. I will leave my social media pages up but I won’t be checking them as often. If you really need to get in contact with me, the email related to this blog is firstname.lastname@example.org and I will check it periodically. I’ll post links to my channel once everything is established, and I’ll also be making social media accounts for it. I might make a companion blog to go with my channel but I haven’t gotten that far yet. Thank you to everyone who helped me get started and who supported me on my journey. Before I started blogging I was a meek broken person who hated herself. Today I’m a confident person working at her dream job who has hope for the future. That wouldn’t have been possible if I’d never started a blog and put myself out there. I’ve really broken out of my shell and while I had a negative experience blogging, I’m glad I did it.
There’s way too many people to list, but if you’ve ever read this blog, commented on my social media pages, encouraged me, or otherwise had a positive effect on my blogging experience I want to thank you. I almost quit this blog entirely during periods of illness and joblessness, but I kept going because of the messages and comments from people like you.
Until next time,